What I Just Stepped Into... was Love

Alright so this post is gonna be quite honest. 


So for the past year... well since August of 2010 my life slowly went more and more down hill. Why? All because I wanted to feel loved and just wanted to experience this love that everyone seemed to be enjoying except me. I was a gung ho Christian, I swore I would never do so so so many things and all within just a few months I had broken everything that I swore I would never do. I fell for the "oh my gosh he acts like he likes me" and it all went bad from there. I knew nothing would ever come of it but I was just that desperate to feel something that I said "oh I don't care if we won't end up together". So For December started the bad trend. February or maybe January I started drinking. I swore I never ever drink because I have seen some bad things that it does. April, I had sex and smoked weed. I can tell you right now that I am not proud of any of these things and I don't condone any of them... wait for sex until marriage... I'm sure it is way way way better. So I don't have to say it because it is obvious.. I lost sight of God for a year and a half. I had only put myself at the lowest point in my life rather than feeling better. I felt like crap, I had given all that I had within me only to not feel any love whatsoever. So obviously I stopped with the guy and the drinking and the smoking was done when it started. ugh. Then I started dating my boyfriend (wonderful time) I started being myself and started to open up my heart a little more and started the healing process. Now I literally just started going back to church the weekend after New Year. My Resolution was to go back to church (Not really a resolution but more of a WANT). The first weekend I went and it was awesome.. last weekend I skipped and this weekend... Today, January 12th, 2012 was a turning point. :)


And This is why....


So I looked for Love for a year and a half through other sources, a guy, friends, family, drinks, smoke, boyfriend, and just anything I could get my hands on/talk to. I have to admit wholeheartedly that I walked this morning into CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg.. feeling nervous. I don't know why I was nervous but I was... then I went in and stood for worship (like 4 powerful songs) and I can honestly say, I stood, I sang, and I... I Alyssa Tipping,


Felt.Loved. 


I literally felt God's Love overwhelming me and overpowering every fear and word that has ever been pounded in my head (you're ugly, you talk too much, you aren't funny, you will never find a guy, who would want to marry you, you don't make your family proud, and you will never fulfill your dreams and many more) for me to believe for the last 22yrs of my life. I have never been so loved that I didn't know how to react so of course, I started to get watery eyes. 


And that my folks, Is Pure Love. You cannot get that Love from anyone else. 


:)

What Does It Mean?

This song sums up my life... pretty much.

Running....

It's falling from the clouds

A strange and lovely sound

I hear it in the thunder and rain

It's ringing in the skies

Like cannons in the night

The music of the universe plays

You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are
Beautiful and free
Song of Galaxies
It's reaching far beyond the milky way
Lets join in with the sound
C'mon let's sing it loud
As the music of the universe plays

All glory, honor, power is Yours amen

All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours forever amen

So I ran my first 5k yesterday. I was super nervous and wanted to throw up right before, so I prayed for peace. I most certainly got that prayer answered. As I was listening to worship songs that I put in a playlist for this purpose of running I had never wanted to Praise God more. I was past the first mile and was at the 8 and a half minute mark.... needless to say, I was proud of myself from the start. After that first mile I felt peace like crazy. I was smiling and passing people... going at a pace that felt almost too fast, I had no idea how much longer I had left and this song... Cannons by Phil Wickham started coming through my iPod. I turned my hand face up to worship God. I wanted to raise both my hands but that would have looked super funny to other people and would have been hard to run like that. I finished that 5k, closer to God, feeling accomplished and proud, and my dad and bro and step mom were also proud. God was running right next to me saying... "see how wonderful and happy this is... you are following Me and are on the right path, this is how life is supposed to feel and be, you aren't supposed to be drowned in sorrows day in and day out, you are suppose to be going through life at my pace and smiling as the pain ceases to control you."

*sorry if all this was a little all over but I'm thinking you understood what I typed... :)*

I'm.Loved.

Believe

Wait, wait, wait, there's somethin' that I gotta say
It'll take, take, take, just a minute so don't walk away
I search in circles for a remedy
To fight the poison that is killing me
It's like I'm falling fast head over feet
Is anybody listening?

[CHORUS]
I wanna believe
I wanna believe in love againI wanna believe
I wanna believe in love again
Tired of living this way, tired of everyday
So will you help me
I wanna breakthrough
I wanna believe in you

Hey, hey, hey, why is everyday the same for me?
Fake, fake, fake, just pretend what I'm suppose to be
I need an answer for my remedy
I need a Savior 'cause I'm in too deep
I reach up,
Will You reach down here to me?
[CHORUS]

You found me, You were looking for me
You found me, You were looking for me
You found me, You were waiting for me
I can see Your love
You found me, You were waiting for me
I can see Your love

This song pretty much sums up my thoughts and hopes.

I.Want.To.Feel.Real.Love

Holding On... To A Voice

You see my anxious heart
You see what I am feeling
And when I fall apart
You are there to hold meHow great Your love for me
Now I see what You're thinking
You say I'm beautifulYour voice is my healing
Without You I just can't get by
So I'm

Hanging on to every word You speak
'Cause it's all that I need
Hanging on to every word You say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper I'm
Hanging on as if it were my lifeI'm hanging on

I've stumbled
I've been beaten down, bruised and broken
I've been called names and told things that are just used to make me feel less like a human and more like an object
My heart hasn't felt whole or soft since I can remember
I may be weak and human but these things I know are true...

God says I am beautiful
He loves me for all of my flaws and faults
He has been waiting for this day.. when I realize there is SO much more to this life than being used
He has never left me and never will
I left Him and when I realized there was no where to go but UP, He was there with arms wide open... welcoming home HIS child

I am Hanging On to EVERY word. I know I'm not the strongest and the Devil will use all he has to bring me back under and drown me in my sorrows and faults, God will always reach down and bring me back up when I turn to Him for guidance and realize that My way IS NOT the right way.

I.Surrender.

I have not a clue what I will be posting but we will see how long I can keep this going. lol.

poem

Compassionate
Amazing
Selfless
Spiritual
Important
Dedicated
Yoked

Active
Loving
Yelling is a no-no
Sharing
Secrets
Always

by cassidy and alyssa

I want, want, want, and want some more! Just let God handle it!

You have given me more than I could ever have wanted
And I want to give you my heart and my soul

Cause' you alone are Father
And you alone are good
And you alone are savior
And you alone are God.

~You Alone~

I have gone through that stage of wanting and yes I still do it. But, I do not do it as much now because I have seen God work in so many ways of giving us things we need when we need them. For example, my whole family was struggling financially. My dad got layed off and could not find a job. So for about 1 - 3 months we were scared we were going to lose the house and other things. But then my dad started finding jobs and we were getting money and our bills were being paid by other people. That is all because we were trusting that God would get us through this. He has. God has given us money for gas when we were low and for food. Sounds weird. All you have to do is have faith and trust that God will get you through your situations. So my prayer is that I will be able to trust God and have faith that he will get me through my situations.

Trust in Him,
Alyssa

Goals, Idols, Passion of knowing God?

Jesus my passion in life is to know You
May all other goals bow down to
This journey of loving You more
Jesus, You've showered Your goodness on me
Given Your gifts so freely
But there's one thing I want to know
Hear my heart's cry
And my prayer for this life
Above all else
Above all else
Above all else
Give me Yourself

Above All Else sung by Wendy O'Connell

It is just what Chad Seabright said about idols, let them fall down and bow to God. Our goals and idols need to be all about God. Sorry we should have no goals or idols our PASSION should be all about God. It is a hard thing to do, giving up what you love, but if you do it to have a passion for God nothing will happen that you cannot handle. So my prayer is that I will be able to give up everything and listen and follow God.

Give Up Everything and Follow Him,
Alyssa Marie Tipping

My First Post

Jesus is the best friend there is. He is always there when you need him and never leaves. When you meet him you can never leave him.