What I Just Stepped Into... was Love

Alright so this post is gonna be quite honest. 


So for the past year... well since August of 2010 my life slowly went more and more down hill. Why? All because I wanted to feel loved and just wanted to experience this love that everyone seemed to be enjoying except me. I was a gung ho Christian, I swore I would never do so so so many things and all within just a few months I had broken everything that I swore I would never do. I fell for the "oh my gosh he acts like he likes me" and it all went bad from there. I knew nothing would ever come of it but I was just that desperate to feel something that I said "oh I don't care if we won't end up together". So For December started the bad trend. February or maybe January I started drinking. I swore I never ever drink because I have seen some bad things that it does. April, I had sex and smoked weed. I can tell you right now that I am not proud of any of these things and I don't condone any of them... wait for sex until marriage... I'm sure it is way way way better. So I don't have to say it because it is obvious.. I lost sight of God for a year and a half. I had only put myself at the lowest point in my life rather than feeling better. I felt like crap, I had given all that I had within me only to not feel any love whatsoever. So obviously I stopped with the guy and the drinking and the smoking was done when it started. ugh. Then I started dating my boyfriend (wonderful time) I started being myself and started to open up my heart a little more and started the healing process. Now I literally just started going back to church the weekend after New Year. My Resolution was to go back to church (Not really a resolution but more of a WANT). The first weekend I went and it was awesome.. last weekend I skipped and this weekend... Today, January 12th, 2012 was a turning point. :)


And This is why....


So I looked for Love for a year and a half through other sources, a guy, friends, family, drinks, smoke, boyfriend, and just anything I could get my hands on/talk to. I have to admit wholeheartedly that I walked this morning into CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg.. feeling nervous. I don't know why I was nervous but I was... then I went in and stood for worship (like 4 powerful songs) and I can honestly say, I stood, I sang, and I... I Alyssa Tipping,


Felt.Loved. 


I literally felt God's Love overwhelming me and overpowering every fear and word that has ever been pounded in my head (you're ugly, you talk too much, you aren't funny, you will never find a guy, who would want to marry you, you don't make your family proud, and you will never fulfill your dreams and many more) for me to believe for the last 22yrs of my life. I have never been so loved that I didn't know how to react so of course, I started to get watery eyes. 


And that my folks, Is Pure Love. You cannot get that Love from anyone else. 


:)